Nienie and CJane-My Two Pence Worth.

Word to the wise this will only be interesting to a very few.....so if you are short on time skip it:)


So I read two blogs regularly and have done for years.  They both happen to be sisters.  Like many of their readers I came to them after one of the sisters, Stephanie was in a serious plane crash.  Stephanie suffered 3rd degree burns over 80% of her body, her survival chances were very slim, her family were warned if she did survive her injuries would make her life very different.  She was in a drug induced coma for 3 months, and has endured a painful but miraculous recovery.

As she lay in a coma her sister Courtney took over her blog and kept readers up to date.  That's when I became a reader.  Courtney happened to have her own blog and after Stephanie's odds defying recovery they both continued blogging at their respective blogging homes.  

It might be worth mentioning now that these girls are as mormon as it gets.  Dyed in the wool, true blue through and through,well connected, multi-generational, born and raised in the heart of Mormondom-Provo Utah Mormons.   You get the idea?

At first my interest lay in the aftermath of the accident.  How would Stephanie cope? What would her recovery be like? What did she now look like? By this time I had caught up with all her posts and saw that she had had a beautiful life and was physically and mentally strong and deeply devoted to her family and faith before the accident.  

Before 

And After

As for Courtney well as she blogged as Stephanie lay in a coma I had got to know her online persona too.  She had been caring for Stephanie's children with every intention of taking them in to her permanent care should it be necessary.  Back then even her blogging picture had been photoshopped to include a tongue in cheek halo-a nod to her irreverent humour and ego-centricity.  Her blog had previously been about her infertility journey a topic close to my heart.

Both ladies were strangers to me, but somehow I felt invested in their stories and how it would all turn out.  I was hooked, a loyal and avid daily reader.  The posts themselves took only minutes from my day and an equal measure of headspace thereafter.    At times though both of them have authored beautiful, hopeful and thought provoking messages that lingered in my mind and influenced my day for good.  One a gifted writer and the other a creative chronicler- both kept me coming back for more.

Usually friends, who also read them both, had a preference.  Once a friend told me she had stopped reading Cjane since she thought she was too angry.  "Angry?" Really? I hadn't noticed.  She was very real and raw, open about her moods and challenges but still positive and uplifting I thought.    

On a visit to Utah I met Stephanie and her two daughters at her book signing.  She was beautiful and I cried when I saw her.   On that visit I heard stories from people who outlined a tenuous connection they had to her  "She was snobby and elitist" they had decided, and still a little since the accident.  Other friends this side of the pond said they found Stephanie too sickly and sugar coated.  Maybe that was true maybe it wasn't, I can't say I was bothered by any of that, it wasn't all that I saw.

Each sister is clearly different in their approach to life. Stephanie is idealistic, simple and less revealing.  She doesn't allow comments on her blog.  This window to her life is strictly under her control.  You couldn't say she is exactly guarded, at times she shares her struggles but always with an up beat "that was yesterday I'm over it now" kind of tone.  

Courtney is swirling, eclectic and allows us into the deepest recesses of her life or so it seems.  With Courtney it feels like nothing is out of bounds and she is happier leaving her questions and explorations in the air for her readers to draw their own conclusions.  Her comments section can be rowdy and un-censored where feelings run high after a particularly provocative post.

An example of their difference was perhaps when they both posted about the death of their grandmother.  Stephanie's tribute was pretty and glowing, focusing on her grandmothers best attributes.  Stephanie made her sound saintly and wonderful.  Courtney too shared her sadness but also told of how she was never sure that her grandmother approved of her and posted about how that made her feel.  I was touched by both of their perspectives and didn't doubt for a minute that both sisters were sharing their truth.  

Sometimes it felt like they were answering one another like Courtney's declaration of her support for Ordain Women - a highly controversial movement (in mormon circles) calling for the question of female ordination to be considered.  

Stephanie's almost twin dated post allowed her to nail her colours to the mast in case we were in any doubt what her thoughts on the matter were.  She shared her admiration for all her sisters but also her fear for those who broke covenants.

Then there was the time it was revealed that Stephanie's blog had been chosen to help in the Romney campaign where Courtney's had been deemed somehow inappropriate for the tone the campaign was trying to set.  Shortly after Cjane outed herself as a democrat. 

It sometimes felt like Courtney just couldn't avoid the gritty, meaty stuff.  Between topics like pornography addiction, the religious debate around homosexuality,  body image, the ups and downs of motherhood and more.  She has shared her thoughts and faith status liberally and in real time.   Like confetti with one post here another there, scattering the feelings of her heart and questions of her soul.  Was this classic middle child syndrome, did she just like being different?  Whatever it is it is powerful, useful and easily relatable and I love it.  She always gives you something to get your teeth in to.

All the while Stephanie did what she does best, shared her joy in motherhood, home and family and of course her unwavering faith in the LDS church, it's leaders and their teachings.  I joyed in her milestones like her being able to climb a beloved hill once more, health scares and surgeries, getting pregnant, family celebrations and simple day to day things that she found happiness in.  

Her life looked like a stylised but very believable fairytale before the accident and somehow even after her horrific injuries she has it looking that way again. 

An undoubtedly remarkable woman, who is capable of super-human mental capacity to make real the story she chooses to focus on.  And her story is always full of warmth and light and hope.

As it goes it's Stephanie that is likely better known after doing the rounds on all the talk shows, Oprah, Good Morning America, Glen Beck and others.  She wrote a best selling book about the accident and is a sought after speaker.  Whilst Courtney has pursued local causes bringing culture and fun to her city through rooftop concerts she sponsors.  She too is a bit of a thought leader in her own right but perhaps best known only in Mormon circles.  

So as I say a while ago Courtney shared her support for the ordain women movement.  In Mormonism this is enough for her to be considered a heretic.  And just a few days ago she shared that she has been experiencing a shift in her beliefs.   This is hard to imagine, remember she is a dyed in the wool, true blue Mormon, this kind of dramatic fall from grace does not happen very often. Could she be having a religious re-think? That's what some commenters on her blog surmised after her second to last post, some even gleefully. 

Since I read both blogs one after the other I couldn't help but compare her to her sister again.  Fair or not I think a lot of people will be and most probably will be taking sides.  On the day of Courtney's waking up post Stephanie shared a pulpit with Elder Holland and her blog showed pictures of them embracing one another like old friends.  That fact alone makes this a pretty much an open and shut case for many readers.

These two sisters represent to me something that is going on in my church at the moment.  It's hard to tell to what extent, I suppose it depends on who you listen to.  Some say the internet is to Mormons what the printing press was to the Catholic church.  Some say you can't google a testimony.  But that's a whole other post.

Perhaps both sisters are an acquired taste and to my non mormon friends this post will just come off as a weird internet stalking habit.  Maybe they'll think I should get out a bit more or something.  Here in Scotland none of this stuff matters, religion in general is a very niche topic and this kind of stuff doesn't even register, its a niche in a niche.  To my mormon friends they will wonder what I am trying to say with this post and try to place me in a suitable pigeon hole.  Who do I agree with, which side am I on?  They might easily suggest I quickly give up on CJane and stick with Stephanie.  

If for now Stephanie and Courtney are on opposite sides a debate well somewhere in between lies me.  I "get" them both and totally resonate with each of them.  I love the cheese of one and the questioning of the other.  Like them I am always interested in growth, and believe in listening to my heart.  For now my heart tells me that both of these women are good and have something useful to share with me.  

For more posts you can follow me on twitter  @AndersLynne  

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